There are any number of theories about how to win ex back when you have been dumped and most of them seem to involve playing head games with your ex. But, if you mess with her head just to win her back, you sure are on a shaky foundation for moving forward in the relationship once things are patched up. This advice is the no-games way to win ex back.
She would text you two dozen times a day when you were going out together but now your phone is silent. Calling her once a week or so just to "keep in touch" keeps the door open for a reconciliation - but you don't want to overdo it.
Of course, make sure that you call her on important days like her birthday and remembering to send a card or a small gift wouldn't hurt either when you are trying to win ex back.
If there is a news story she might enjoy keep in touch by email. Whether it is about poverty in Africa or a profile of Shane West - send it to her with a nice (quick) note. You can also maybe start a email list where you send out jokes, information or personal updates to a group of friends so make sure she is on the responder list.
You also have to think about whether you want to want to date other girls during the time when you are trying to win ex back. If you are serious that you want to win ex back, you won't date other girls. Do not sleep with another woman if you are even thinking about getting back together. This goes against some dating advice that says you should date around to make your ex jealous but playing games like this will not serve you well when you do get back together.
She called it off so don't be jealous when she dates other guys. She's not cheating when she sees men but you can use the information about what she looks for in a guy when you analyze the kind of men she's dating.
She may be seeing men who sweep her off her feet if she broke things off with you because you had gotten too complacent in the relationship. You may need to develop a more sensitive side in order to win ex back if you were the beer and football type and she's now dating poets and artists.
You will be able to see what she really needs in a man when you analyze and study the woman who broke up with you. Remember, there are layers being built up between the two of you now that you are no longer a couple. Because your own feelings, emotions and needs are less at play, in some ways, this actually makes it easier to see what she needs from a guy. Look at her actions and read into the things she says and the things she doesn't say.
The power in your relationship has shifted so hold your own cards close to your chest. You give her too much power when you spill out your deepest emotions to your ex. She suddenly can dictate the future if you tell her that she is the one person who you need in your life. When you hold your own cards close to your chest, you preserve your own power which is necessary for restoration of the relationship after you win ex back.
Work on yourself during the time when you are broken up. Make sure you hit the gym regularly so you look good and get a hair cut too or even consider a new style. But don't forget to work on your mind as well as your body because by spending time on self improvement, you become more attractive to your ex.
In the end, you can try to get your ex back by playing games or you can try to fix the problems that your relationship obviously had. When you work on the problems, you build a more solid foundation for the future when you have already accomplished your win ex back plan.
by Claire Brown
